A Lifetime of ‘Project Runway’

I decided I wouldn’t handicap this season’s contestants on “Project Runway” — no watching biographical videos, no knee-jerk reactions off profile pictures on Lifetime’s website.

In Ari’s case, that was probably a mistake, because the editors didn’t spend much time on her before she was given the (moon) boot.

aridress I can’t really say I blame the judges — there’s a difference between “I like giving my clothing texture” and “I created a top that looks like a metallic quilted soccer ball, only even uglier.” Plus, I bet the other designers breathed a huge sigh of relief: Can you imagine having to be in a high-stress situation around someone who wanders off to do handstands?

Also, Mitchell: His model was off by 5 inches? Then 6? Let me put it this way: If she had gone from, say, a 32-inch bust to a THIRTY-EIGHT-INCH BUST, she would (a) not be booking any model jobs, and (b) working at Spearmint Rhino. Her arms are 6 inches longer? Her waist? Not having it.

Besides, you created a smocked garment that looked vaguely like a muumuu. There’s room for error. And if you didn’t plan it that way, it’s your own damn fault.  She didn’t gain 6 inches in her neck, and that appeared to be the only part of his dress done when she showed up. And, not that this counts against him (too much): He looks like Mario Cantone.

But overall, it looks like this season will prove my thesis. Remember all the people who were all, “Oh, ‘The Fashion Show’ was awful, ‘Project Runway’ is so much better”? Uh, I call this one a tie. The designers don’t look to be that much more skilled thus far, and by the end of the last season of “Project Runway” I was experiencing severe boredom anyway. If before last night you could remember who won the past two seasons of “PR,” you (a) have the memory of an elephant, and (b) might want to make room in your brain for more important stuff.

Plus: Using Lindsay Lohan as guest  judge in your premiere episode pretty much says: “I am creatively bankrupt.”

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