Five tracks in my iTunes library with titles that contain the word “Hello”:
1. “Hello Heartbreak,” Michelle Williams. Poor Michelle Williams — do a Google Image search and the Destiny’s Child third wheel doesn’t even show up until page 3, thanks to a better-known Michelle Williams, at right. Plus, I feel bad that Beyoncé released her album “I Am Sasha Fierce” like a month after Michelle released her solo pop album, which included this song. If the “turn the lights out / ho!” bit sounds familiar, perhaps you’ve heard it on … Beyoncé’s song “Sweet Dreams,” which the same guy produced. Papa Knowles can’t let those other girls have anything to themselves!
2. “Hello Hopeville,” Michelle Shocked. I bought this tape — that’s right, a cassette tape, kids! — for the incredibly weird song “When I Grow Up,” (they’re gonna have a hundred and five / ten / fifteen /twenty babies). This and “Captain Swing” are my two favorite albums by her.
3. “Hello City,” Barenaked Ladies. “Gordon” makes me think of my former coworker Crystal, who loved this band and would play this disc in the old Get Out office. Their song “If I Had $1,000,000” mentions a K-Car, with which I was saddled for a few years. My Plymouth Reliant-K had a radio with those hard push-buttons that allowed six stations, no tape player and near the end of its life started to smell like antifreeze anytime I used the heater. (The vinyl top failed to make it classier, either.) Eventually I traded up to a Plymouth Neon (with spoiler, as TBond would point out). Note to lottery winners: Do not buy anyone a K-Car. That’s just mean.
4. “Hello I Am Your Heart,” Sara Hickman. Another track from Rubaiyat, the Elektra label’s “happy anniversary to us!” release. I had never heard the original version by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band before today.
5. “Say Hello,” April Wine. My freshman year in college, my friend Tracy made me a mix she labeled “keg tunes,” which was filled with all of the music they used to play at the high school kegs I never went to. This was one of them. And … $1.29 for April Wine?! Seriously? Remember when the labels said they’d charge $1.29 for the really in-demand songs but drop the prices of less-popular tracks to like 79¢? It is 11th in line when you do a search for “Say Hello,” which is no surprise considering the song is 30 years old. The fact the label still wants to charge $1.29 is just annoying.