Losers, weepers

Places that my favorite new pair of sunglasses could have been, but are not (a partial list):

  • On the passenger seat (default position #1)
  • On my dresser, next to the other items I cart in and out daily (default position #2)
  • Under the front seats of my car
  • In the back seat of my car
  • In the trunk of my car
  • With the other sunglasses in the console
  • Or with the final-alternatives pairs in the glove box
  • In the refrigerator — hey, it’s been known to happen for some people, and I thought maybe Mr. Brooks placed them there in an act of revenge for when I hid all of his recently purchased yogurt for a week. (Our housecleaner had scarfed his last container, so he went out and bought about a dozen more — which I promptly stashed inside the pitcher we usually keep filled with iced tea. He stayed resolutely quiet the entire week, and I didn’t reveal the truth to him until he had left for Denver again, when I sent him the text messages above.)
  • On the kitchen counter, by the door
  • Accidentally tossed into the junk drawer in the kitchen
  • In the cardboard box of notions and sundries I keep in the hall closet (as the photo at right attests)
  • Atop the bar
  • Anywhere else in the living room
  • Or the dining room
  • At the neighbors’ house
  • In the secret cache in the armrest of the back seat of their car
  • At my desk at work

I can find the rubber gasket that separated from the ear bud on a pair of headphones in a black automotive interior in less than 30 seconds. (I did it today, in fact: “Here it is, somehow tucked underneath a tchotchke in the partition built to hold loose change.”) So the fact it’s now a week and counting since I first realized these sunglasses were missing is driving me insane.

My theory: I was the victim of ninja burglars who traffic only in used sunglasses. Or, actually, I suspect that I brought them into the house, which I hardly ever do, and left them on the kitchen counter. Mr. Brooks, assuming they were his lookalike pair, picked them up there. I’ve asked him to check his car for a duplicate pair, so we’ll see how that goes. I might be going door to door soon if that doesn’t pan out.

WHAT SAM WORE: 4-20-11
The shirt: Silk/linen V-neck sweater from Banana Republic at San Tan Village.
The pants: Dark-wash jeans from Uniqlo, New York.
The shoes: Sneakers by Puma, from Nordstrom in Chandler.

3 responses to “Losers, weepers

  1. I have to keep my sunglasses in their case at all times when I’m not wearing them because they are WAY too expensive for me to just lose. And I lose things. Frequently.

    When I used to live in New York, that Uniqulo store would freak me out. So many colors…sooo many bright colors…

  2. You have a housecleaner?

    • We do, Jen — and it was one of the the smartest decisions we ever made! Our cleaners come every two weeks and do everything from mopping the floors (the #1 despised chore at Casa Flor) to changing bedsheets — and since there are three of us in the house, the cost per person isn’t as steep.

      J, ironically I have cases for the sunglasses I don’t like as much — like a pair from Banana Republic — so they always reside in that safe zone you mentioned! But I got the Ray-Bans from the discount store Last Chance, so they didn’t come with a case and I never thought to get one. I’m paying for it now — still no glasses to be found.

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