Not cutting it.

I’ve learned the reason Ikea knives cost like $5 — after about two cuts, they’re as dull as my first boyfriend.

I’m not sure why I even thought I needed to buy knives from Ikea in the first place; I have an old-school block of Chicago Cutlery. Actually, I take that back — I do know why:

  • The wood handles of the Chicago Cutlery seem … unsanitary? high-maintenance (“oil me!”)? … so I rarely use them.
  • Any time I think going to Ikea is a good idea, I wend my way through the entire store and find nothing I like. By the time we’re reaching the final stretch, I’m like, “I will find something that’s worth purchasing, so this trip wasn’t a waste of two hours. (Oh, look — a knife!)” And then months later, I again decide that I should have just picked up a bag of 100 tealight candles instead and called it good.

So the Ikea knives are going to the trash. (Don’t worry, I wrapped their blades in duct tape first to prevent any possible stabby issues at the dump. Although I don’t know why I bother — as Miss Hoover says: “These things couldn’t cut butter.”)

The shirt: Texas Longhorns T-shirt, from the UT student union in Austin.
The shorts: Corduroy shorts, on sale at Lucky Brand, Chandler Fashion Center.
The shoes: Flip-flops by Reef, from the Reef store in Honolulu.

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