On one of our first nights in Puerto Vallarta, we were dumbstruck when this video came on at a bar called Hot Frida’s. None of us had ever heard the song before, and it is ATROCIOUS.
The screams, particularly. What the … ? The version we saw didn’t even include her hitting them in any specific note, but just going for the full screaming-sheep effect. (Like the guest star in this 30-second snippet of a parody of Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble,” which makes me laugh.)
On our first visit:
I thought I had it bad because the song was stuck in my head for the entire next day. I thought I was alone, but the Double Davids later admitted it had affected them similarly as well.
David Monkeyclock and I decided it would be fun to imitate one of the dancing pairs, where he starts “bumping” his shoulder and, later, his head on her hip. Unbeknownst to the other, though, each of us thought we would take the male dancer’s role, swerved our head to “bump” the other guy’s hip … and ended up braining each other good on the side of the forehead. I was sore for 2 days.
On our second visit:
I thought I had it worse, because the video played shortly after we walked in. Later in the evening, a bunch of late arrivals apparently requested it, too, because we heard it again, in a less-than-two-hour window.
“Lady Bump” was doing serious damage to our brains, and yet when we were sitting at the beach we would inevitably turn to the person next to us and sing, “They call me LAY-dee BUMP! LAY-dee BUMP!” and then pretend to scream, quietly.
I started to worry about the people who work at Hot Frida’s: How many times each night did they have to endure that song, with its chorus that includes a sound like a fire alarm? (And after the key change, an even more urgent fire alarm.) What was that like, day after day, week after week?
And on our third (and final) visit:
I looked across the balcony at the people who live across the tiny, cobblestoned street and realized that they must hear it every night, too. Imagine sitting out on your balcony, trying to enjoy the dark evening, and suddenly having to endure 3½ minutes of Penny McLean screaming in your ears, about once every two hours. [Shudder.]
Also shudder-worthy: She was still
singing lip-syncing to it as recently as 2011. At least her hair looks way better!
|WHAT SAM WORE: 03-17-13|
|The shirt: T-shirts by Brooklyn Industries, from the store in the West Village.|
|The shorts: Jersey drawstring-waist shorts by C9, from Target.|
|The shoes: Custom Converse All-Star slip-ons, made at converse.com.|